purple_perrier: (Default)
in the stillness
my heart racing
like heroin through he veins of a junkie
my vision blurring
my senses failing
i am falling through a rip in
my reality.
tumbling through skeletons and love letters
collecting bruises and paper cuts along
the way,
i realize that i truly am nothing...
a void
blank spots on black paper
a grain of sand on a beach
that fading memory of your last kiss...
a thing of the past
i am no longer
no more
and no one even remembers
what it was like when i was someone important
someone who they loved
someone who they wanted to devour just by kissing them

instead im the trash you call when you need a blow job
the friend of convieniance that you know will always be there when you need her
regardless of how you treat her in the mean time.....
im the corner stone holding up the world
and i am stand on a piece of wet tissue paper that is starting to tear

Tiny Me

2/7/05 11:53
purple_perrier: (Default)
coldness in his eyes
staring down at me
i lay on the floor
and even in the smallness of his heart
i feel insignificant
bug like
easily disposed of
without cause or consequence
his breathe,
hot on my neck
and with each bite
he devours my innocence
like a sinners last meal
tasting my soul
my child like soul.
with each sip he become more alive
as he destroys me
my mind
my body
he is made more whole
purple_perrier: (mywordsrmyweapons comp. tragic_blo)
rocked shut
closed off from all existence
each night spent inert
dog tired
confused from my daily goings on
lost in this sea of speculation and dirty speech
my mind glazed over like some rock
at the bottom of a river
flowing madly
like my thoughts
from one to the next
tripping over words that make no sense
that have no reason to exist in my brain
except to taunt me
haunt me
hinder me from living
from moving on
from forgetting
from healing
from my life

*i think im really starting to find a style...and i like it.*


28/6/05 11:10
purple_perrier: (Default)
sorry for the lack of poetic updates.... i will get on it eventually. writters block is a bitch.

If Only

11/6/05 00:37
purple_perrier: (Default)
if only i could touch one person
with no rhyme or reason
or without the selling of my soul
like flesh on the street
if only i could meet
a true being of compassion
who saw my soul for the real twisted rope of a human being i am
i could die a happy woman
if only i could feel like i mattered
more than matter in that air which i breathe when i lie
i could die
a saner woman
with wrists that weep out my regret
and with eyes that no longer blink back the tears
that prove that i exist
i am a year older...
an adult, no longer a simpering child
huddled in a corner bleeding and torn
i am hardened now
stoned and calloused
pale as alabaster stones
broken i have been
and now i sit
stitched up with mismatching thread
bones poking from holes that show my truths
like skeletons,
whispering from hidden closets all the
inner workings of my mind
if only i could confess all of these secret realities within me
if only i could hold someone for a moment longer than long enough
if only sleeping alone wasn't so lonely
if only

Tip Toe

2/6/05 12:46
purple_perrier: (Default)
my pants are too long for me and they scrape the ground when i walk
and when i stand on pointed toes to kiss you
it only reminds me how small i really am
and how it feels to be protected by your arms

and if it tasted sweeter...
this honey sweet satisfaction of love
the spider webs would clear themselves inside my head
and i would think just that mush clearer

but instead you haze my mind
in this lovely lethargic cloud
of trust and comfort
unlike anything i have ever seen

walking around with a secret smile
biting my lower lip in anticipation of each touch
and my hand has molded itself
to fit perfectly inside of yours


21/5/05 19:07
purple_perrier: (Default)
i am blinded
trying to see
lost and fumbling
to regain a grip on my reality
like glass shards broken
from the silver mirror
of my purity
forced to stare at 1,000 reflections
of my shattered self.
purple_perrier: (Default)
each night sp[ent alone
but wrapped in your love
so concealed and sheilded
kept safe from harm
as if folded in your arms
for it's there that i am
truly home.
purple_perrier: (Default)
sugar sweet and sickly
dripping down my throat like honey
all the lies you've spun like silk
to my ear and my tongue

speaking satin to my
willing mind
letting it slip into my soul
and caress my heart with its
crimson impurity

i become lucid
and surrend to the carmel
strands your fingers make
through my hair

this is my prison
so soundly scuplted from
the ice cream of innocence
so as to fool me
into the tranquil safty
of love.


5/5/05 01:34
purple_perrier: (Default)
i remember when i use to be enough for you
each night
long silences
spent comfortable
wrapped in the electronic warmth of
simply a breath on the phone
hearing your voice made me feel more alive
only our connection became fuzzy
clouded by other voices, and by lives
outside of our cocoon of
telephonic romance
ever growing static
choked us
and slit
the binds that once held us
so close together
leaving only the dangling
phone cords from our minds

*please dont read to far into this ok???*


3/5/05 01:18
purple_perrier: (Default)
crawling through the debris of my soul
deep with shatterd glass and dreams
blood runs from the scars you have made
and each breath makes me ache inside
to feel you there again

only this time,
you will never return
for i have pushed you out and thrown away the key.

and everytime i reach into my mind to find it
i prick myself on my pride.


26/4/05 14:47
purple_perrier: (Default)
in my dreams
you love me
and dispite the distance
you stay faithful
and every lie you ever told
was truth.
that is how i know
it was a dream.

*this is NOT about anyone.. .just a few lines i threw together*


26/4/05 14:46
purple_perrier: (Default)
forever lost
like a small child
i sit
huddled in a corner
frightened by my own existance
waiting to be rescued
by my non existant prince
and where i once
would have called on you
i now can only huddle in fear

* i think this one is crappy too*
purple_perrier: (Default)
welling up
and following the empty tears
falling from the vacnat windows
to my hollow soul
and everything stops
my heart beats its last
and in that instant o9f death
finally i find relief
for i will never wake up
with this emptiness again

*i kind of think its crap*
purple_perrier: (Default)
closed eyes
clenched teeth
jaw aching from biting my tongue
and i want to scream
even though it is frowned upon
but instead
i look at the bruised reflection
in a dark window
and pray that my lip stops bleeding
purple_perrier: (Default)
deliberatly ruptering my heart
with three words, i realize now were untrue
purple_perrier: (Default)
I only called to get my fix
so lie to me and tell me that you love me
i just need to feel important for a minute
please forgive me.
i forgot i wasn't suppose to fall in love with you for real.
i'm sorry that i couldn't close my heart to you in time.
i hate that i depend on your so much.
i wish i could go weeks without having to hear it
and have it no matter.
but i can't.
i am dependent of the feeling i get from the lie
called love.
purple_perrier: (Default)
ok ok ok ok o ki know.. no new poetry.. god im such a fucking procrastinator. ok. so today... as an attempted means of trying to get my creative juices flowing, i redid my layout.... AGAIN! so go look and tell me what you think. I redid my profile and icon too.... *twirls fingers in the air to display excitement* im going to try to put up two new peoms today.. even if they are a bit older.. who knows. im in a super funk lately. but if you want to know more about that read [livejournal.com profile] tragic_blood.... im out



29/3/05 02:53
purple_perrier: (Default)
deep and blood red
metal dragged on flesh
and it tears
and it bleeds
and i feel nothing in my numbness
nothing but the blood pouring down my fingertips
and it drips
and it falls
and i see it all
like an outsider looking in
purple_perrier: (Default)
i never do these but i just wanted to make sure you guys are still readin!!!! i hope so. i also did a new layout.. very green.... pretty irishly bad assed if you ask me :) let me know what you think :)