purple_perrier: (Default)
About where the fuck I have been lately. Hot damn! I can remember back in the day I posted three and four times in one day. What happened? Where did my creativity go? Or my drive to put down in words my day so that you guys could know what I have been doing? I am a terrible blogger.. this I have come to realize. I will eventually get over this and will do my duty to blog more often. This I swear..... even if it isn't on lj or dw - more on that in a bit-

But where have I been? Well a lot of places actually.

The husband and I are doing wonderful well. I love him more and more every day. He is beyond my best friend and I would be lost without him. Over the years Brian nad I have had out share of arguments and fights but we have both taken our marriage and our promise to be awesome and have sex with each other and no one else pretty seriously. Honestly, even when he pisses me off he makes me laugh....

We have been spending an enormous amount of time with Mike and Nicole (who got engaged a few weekends ago and, despite our differences and the struggle it was to get to this position for all of us to be happy and friends and everything - not to mention the time it took for them to finally be together and for the both of them to be happy - I am so thankful they are in my life) and Brittney and Andrew (another couple who we are friends with) and I have to say it is really nice to be friends with other couples. We don't have that single drama and I like it. I am getting to old for all the nonsense... I mean it. Back to Mike and Nicole - I have never met two people who are honestly more perfect for each other in all ways (of course besides Brian and I or Thom and Kim) - He is truly the ying to her yang (boom - phrasing) And I am so pleased that after four long years of them not being able to work it out - they are finally on the right track and I love them both..... so there is all that mushy shit. Fuck - where did that come from???? :)

Work is doing great. I love my job and aside from a few people who aren't my favorite people there. I dig it. I was awarded team mate of the month for the last two months so neener neener - I am good at it and so my life as a collector seems assured... for now.

Because I got some wonderful news. A company (a subsidiary of Random House) is going to publish my novel. The working title is "Two Can Keep A Secret" although I am certain they will change this. I signed my contract today and things are moving along. I got a call today about a pod cast interview with some online retailers and honestly I might have pooped myself a little bit when I set that up. In a week or so I will meet with my editor and things will go from there. I will of course keep you posted so you can all buy like 15 copies as I am sure you will. If you want to send them to me I will even sign them for you. Who knows, maybe it will be a big deal someday and you can sell it on Ebay.

Also as far as my blogging goes, I am going to be going more public. So (this post is currently cross posted to dreamwidth and livejournal as well as my blog https://chubbyblogger.wordpress.com

I won't be posting here much. Not that I don't love my private blogs but I feel the need to have a public face for people who aren't on lj or dw. I might still post there from time to time so that I can say nasty things about people (jokes) or that I can say darker things that maybe I don't want to be public.

In any event my meds are kicking in so it is time for sleep. I will keep posting with book updates and life updates and updates about the status of the cats and how their war over the liter box is heating up in the guest bathroom.

Love, peace and chicken grease


17/11/12 15:34
purple_perrier: (i am bad wolf [DW])

more later bit I found my dress
pictures )

purple_perrier: (Default)
So I did a friends cut. I removed people who either A.) Never post or B) I just don't feel connected to. No hard feelings. No big deal. Many of you I am on facebook with anyway. So there.
purple_perrier: (Default)
I got my period.


No maybe baby.

Trying harder next cycle

purple_perrier: (Default)

This journal is friends only.  Please comment to be added.  I will add pretty much everyone as long as they seem cool and are over 18.  So add me and leave a comment to let me know.  

A little bit about me:  I have been on livejournal on some journal or other since 2002.  This is my fourth journal in that time.  Just felt that I needed a new start for 2012. 
purple_perrier: (contentment [sfu])
So I have just done a small FRIENDS CUT. I don't unfriend people because of their posts or what they say (unless they were out and out cunts to me and then all's fair). If I cut you, it's really nothing personal... promise. Either I find my self skimming past your posts or skipping them completely. Or you never post at all. Or I just don't feel like we have connected. If you are super miffed about it and want to get added back by all means, comment and tell me and I will add you back, other wise just remove me.

oh and consider this an easy out, if you want to get rid of me, hey that's cool, now's your chance :)
purple_perrier: (Default)
Post anonomously anything you want here.
They say confession is good for the soul, so I offer a box to put whatever you need to in, no strings attached.

Im screening everything and have disabled my email option. I will not come back here and no one will see what you posted.

NOT EVEN ME. I WONT RETURN to look at them.

I will be using this as well to post ugly things I dont want to deal with... so that way I will have no reason to look behind the cut again.

Have fun.
purple_perrier: (Default)


Please do not add me just for the sake of doing it. And do not come in here with your drama.
purple_perrier: (Default)
an ache
building inside of me
ripping through my body
screaming at the base of my lungs
"take me"
purple_perrier: (Default)
lost and confused
afraid to see whats beyond the moment
empty and used
unsure of how my life will unfold
locking windows and barring doors
shutting anyone out that could hurt me
but leaving the worst behind...
purple_perrier: (Default)
if i could have you for one night
make you my own like some love slave
take you inside me
hold you forever
you would know no other
and i
would never need to know another
you would satisfy
all senses in me
and hold me in every sense of the word
for one night
purple_perrier: (Default)
tragedy is strategy
when your beating back your demons.
screams locked tight behind muted lips
that tell the horrors of your past
but cant get past the present
wishing you could hold me
the way i need you to right now
knowing that it will never be the way i need it
because im too fucked up.
all i can do is watch the world
drift past me
as i rush to try to catch it
and i lie to myself saying
"this time i will catch it"
knowing i wont
and never will
so i cry myself to sleep each night
clinging to my dreams of perfection
and waking up to realize they will never be
purple_perrier: (Default)
kisses dipped in honey
dripping down my throat
tasting it coat my insides.
your lipe, stinging my own
pressing arduos and haunting
feeling your breath scorching my lungs
as your fingers tangle
in my hair and
crawl down my shoulders
where they meet my palms
and close around them
purple_perrier: (Default)
breathe it in an out
remember this moment
this is the end
the bottom
the breaking point
take the plunge and do it
take the life you hate
leave it
let it go
release yourself from it
leave it in the dust forever
but you can't
you just wallow in this self pity
self loathing
and no matter how hard you try to run
it never changes


12/10/05 16:43
purple_perrier: (Default)
in the darkness
lost and docile
falling through the broken memories
of the mirrors of my past
watching my reflections float past me
like parachutes
and my demons below me
my angels above
faling toward this hell i have created
failing towards this nothingness in my brain
falling into myself
only to be lost forever
purple_perrier: (Default)
i am numb
dripping red and pale
floating on my baited breath
waiting to feel free
or comforted
or loved
and with each night spent alone
i know that you have drifted further and further
from anything close to reality
drunk and stumbling
i cry
wishing this ache
would go away


8/9/05 22:36
purple_perrier: (Default)
no words
cos there is nothing there
i cant tell you i love you
because you dont care anyway
you lay next to me each night
and with baited breathe i wonder
"is this the night you tell me you love me again"
and every night i lay awake for hours
listening to each breath
waiting for these words i so long to hear
reading your words to me over and over and over again
wondering where the fuck i went wrong
i dont need to wonder
because i know
and thats what hurts the most

The Gift

27/8/05 02:52
purple_perrier: (Default)
*birthday poem for [livejournal.com profile] sixfeetunderme*

and i can taste him
like the sweet sour of sin
running down my chin and onto my breasts
as we caress
by the light of a full moon
his nails in my skin
and his teeth at my kneck
rolling in the heavenly hell
of black satin sheets
dripping with sweat.

i climb onto him
and straddle like
only a true lover can
taking him deep within my self...
deeper then any man
has ever been
or will be again
because no one can touch me
the way he does
and feeling me tire of being in control
he flips me over and pins me on my back

he moans as i groan his name
and beg him to take me
and he does
just how i like it
hurting me and holding me
all in the same touch
giving me every senseation i have ever craved
and i give it back to him three fold

and when we collapse in ecstasied exhaustion
i whisper in his ear
happy birthday baby
purple_perrier: (Default)
two handfuls full of pills
a tummy full of vodka
a pocket full of broken dreams
and memories of a twisted life soon ended
and with each swallow
my mind hazes over
i fucking regret nothing.
except the fact that i didnt do it sooner.
swallowing my sucidal pride
i think how happy i am that
i chose this way to go
and before i slip into the amazing darkness of death
i whisper to anyone who can hear:
"i will see you in heaven"
purple_perrier: (Default)
staring into the darkness, i realize i am alone
and after having said it out loud
and getting no answer
i know i am right